Clint’s Single Fin Report
This is too funny to not preserve for posterity’s sake…
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2007 Anzac Day Single Fin: What went down and who got up ?
Well gents, a wise man once said that what defines us most is not what we do but what we do NOT do (see footnote 1). And so it is true for the 2007 Anzac day single fin. Ask not what happened… but what did NOT happen.
Well for starters Joelly did NOT make the 08:30 start. Apparently having some mechanical difficulties with the morning horn, he was stranded in Surry Hills. That was OK however as there was no-one else there at that time anyway.
Which boards were NOT surfed ? We no longer had the Nixstix, the G&S, the Richo or Owen trying for the 5th time to get sanction to enter his modern single fin. Those astute numbers men reading this would now be thinking that must have only left 3 single fins for the contest. That must have been difficult with 10 or more contestants ? No problems, there was only 4 of us there (Joel still in transit). One of us surfed the Stewart twinny which rides like a single fin without the fin.
We did NOT set up the tarp to keep the score sheets dry. This was manageable however as we did not take the score sheets or clipboards out from plastic bag in the transport vehicle. This would ordinarily cause difficulties at a surf contest. However we found a clever workaround by removing the judges. No judges i hear you say, that must have made scoring the waves difficult ? No problem there , as we were NOT scoring waves. How the hell did we decide who won and lost the heats ? We had that covered too. We did NOT have heats, no loser and you guessed it … no winner. As you could well imagine this made organizing the trophy ceremony a very simple affair. We did NOT have one.
No winner and no trophy ceremony. Those of you that have bothered to continue reading would undoubtedly be now wondering what kind of contest this was ? Who said there was a contest ? We did NOT have a contest. Instead Benno’s , Dan, Kim and myself took to some 4 foot Palmy closeout death pits with the apathy, ignorance and carelessness that epitomized the era of the single fin and the the bloody hippies who first rode them. The offshore winds, 4 foot swell, low tide and legendary palmy closeout did not disappoint. Deep within the tubes, there were more cartwheels done than you would expect to see at an eastern european gymnastics meet.
A post surf coffee, bacon and egg sandwich was had with some friends and family at the dunes cafe. And that was a wrap.
We are going to try again in the next couple of weeks. Stay tuned.
Clinton
Footnote 1: Apparently this was also the wise man who suggested drinking the first pee of the morning was good for your health.